There is a way that seems right….

Posted on June 23, 2010 by oftherock

Have you been in this road before?  Going through your mundane routine and suddenly you find yourself at a crossroad.  You try to just think and assess what would be the proper action to take.  Maybe you look at your experiences and see if there were any similar events in the past that could guide you now in your decision.

Or perhaps somebody else had gone through that direction and can give you some directions.

But what if – there is no one? And you find yourself alone.

What if on that seemingly insignificant crossroad you took the one that “seemed right but ends in death…”

Or maybe death could sound so ominous.. perhaps ruin.

How do you know which path to take?

Proverbs 14:12

On the outset – it is saying that it seemed right but it ended in destruction.

Then it could also mean that we could take a path that does not seem right to us (initially) but the end thereof is life.

Now this is where it gets difficult for all of us.

Because what is involved in the knowing and actual taking of steps so that one may proceed could be very difficult for all of us – because this involved WAITING.

1. We need to wait because we are not the highest surveyor of life.  We do not know it all. We cannot know the true intent of motivations.

2. We may need to wait because there are things are not what they seem.

It may seem right. It may even feel right for the moment – but it could feel right because we just want to get it done and out of our sight.

Or it seems right because we could not wait any longer – and we feel is it overdue.

We could not wait because we want to take matters into our hands.

Everyday there is a temptation to do what seems right…. and we can do those things without really giving them any thorough assessments particularly around our motivations.

It may seem right now to just commit pre-marital sex or adulterous relationship because it feels right , right at this moment.

It may seem right to just circumvent the legal process, after all, the motivation is to help.

It may seem right not to forgive at this time because you still want to hold on to that grudge.

What about you?  Are there things that you need to decide upon?  Are you getting swayed by logic, motivation or other things to decide on something that could potentially destroy you?

Seek counsel.

Ask for guidance.

Look up and  ask for directions.

The road that does not “seem “right – may actually be the road that God is leading you to take.  It does not seem right for us – but it is totally right with God.

May God bless you in your waiting.

May He reveal Himself in your decisions and planning.

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We tend to be more fearful when we cannot see…

Posted on June 16, 2010 by oftherock

It has been two weeks since we moved to a new residence. We are still adjusting to a lot of things: the location, the traffic, neighbors and more importantly, the noise.

Living in Laguna really afforded us so much peace and quiet during our sleep.  Here in the city, the barrage of noise coming from different vehicles at any given day and night – is still keeping me awake.

Last night coming from a trip, I slept at 10PM, only to wake up at 12 midnight and then again at 3:25am…  I hope I could get adjusted soon to this new environment so that I could go back to my sleeping routine.

And one of the more noticeable things that took place was the way our dogs would bark at any noise they would hear, day or night.

It was getting frustrating. One small noise from anything outside the gates and they would bark.  Since we’ve had the dogs for awhile now, it was easier for me to distinguish the type of barks they make.

And what I noticed was something different.  The barks sounded more like expressions of fear.

Fear? Anxiety?  It merited some more observation.

Back in Laguna, our dogs could easily see all the people passing by. All the cars, dogs and children.  Sure they would bark at them from time to time – but not how they would bark here in Quezon City.  Main difference?  They could see what was going on outside.

Here in Quezon City – they simply have no view.  They need to go really low to see below the gates and the bigger dog could not just easily do that… hence.. he would often bark at anything he could not yet determine to be.

He would even bark at me when I am about to open the gate.

They would bark when the car would park in front and the lights pushing through below the gates.

And then it dawned on me… hey, we could be in similar situations like our dogs are in now.

Didn’t you notice? We get more afraid when we cannot see?

When we cannot see what is ahead of our circumstances we get really afraid and anxious as well.

What is next after this sickness? What would happen if I lose my job? What if I do not get this promotion? What if I cannot make ends meet? What ifs and what could have beens could easily haunt us and make us afraid.

And we get afraid (our version of barking) – we cry out to God in desperation.  We look at ourselves and see how this darkness could eat up the faith that we used to have.

During these times, we need to see God not through our eyes, but through the eyes of our faith…

We need to realize that even though we cannot see beyond the “gates” that there is a future for us.

Even though there are many unknown noises we may hear around us, we could be certain of our safety.

And even though there may be different stages that could pass through and create different noises in our lives… we know that we will be alright.

And when that time comes when we see the bright lights beyond the gates (just like the headlights of the car when I come home and the dogs would bark initially at first), we will not be afraid because our Master is about to take us home with us.

We will be okay.

We will be more than alright despite not seeing what is ahead.

Despite all the unexplainable noises that could make us anxious.

Only if we see God through the “eyes” of our faith.

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Grieving heart of a German national in Dumaguete…

Posted on June 4, 2010 by oftherock

At the youth camp in Dumaguete, I found myself face to face with this german national who has already made Dumagute his home. Two years ago, I saw him drunk and shirtless spewing away harassing words to our campers and staff.

So I was not exactly ecstatic when I saw him again drinking his big bottles of beer a couple of feet away from where I was conducting my Christian Living class.

One of the ladies told me later that this guy was making it difficult about the set up of the obstacle course , claiming the stakes for the web-crawl were on his property.

We took note of how to protect the female campers who were swimming at that time.

I was tired from the 4 classes I taught and I headed back to where I was staying.

But on my way back I noticed an awesome sight. A fishing vessel was beautifully docked nearby with the last few remaining rays of the sun poignantly illuminating the vessel.

I grabbed my camera and (ditching my initial desire to shower,) started making my way to the beach.

That’s when I heard a voice with a distinct German called for me. It was the un-wanted German national.

“are you interested in buying the house?” he pointed toward the house where we were staying and it had a House For Sale…

I approached him and noticed the alcohol smell on his body, and particularly his breath.

“I am not from here… And I dont have money to buy that house” hoping that it would be the end of the conversation.

“are you a priest?” he asked.

I thought, ok here it goes again… A foreigner asking this question to challenge my faith or put our culture down for having the christian faith…

“you may say that.. I said. But I am the marrying kind. I am a pastor.

He edged closer and I was more aware of the alcoholic stench coming from his mouth that clearly exposed the gums that were already missing a significant number of teeth.

“where is the garden of eden?”

Oh my, I thought to myself… I just want to take a snapshot of the last few remaining rays on the boat…

or we could be God’s rays of hope… To a man in the twillight of years…

He went on to ask me about the two rivers in ancient Iraq. I said “great! Now I am suddenly on a quiz show …”

Tigris and Euphrates – I said.

He was pleased that I knew. So he went on explaining some of the evidence pointing to the location of the Garden of Eden. I knew he was just telling about a Discovery documentary on that so I simply nodded and also shared what I knew.

From the corner of my eye, I saw one of our male staff about 50 meters away looking at our direction.

He started walking toward us when the German national put his arm on my shoulder motioning me to walk a couple of steps toward the beach.

He dropped the pieces of paper and coconut husks he was carrying and said ” you know, my wife died 14 days ago…”

How I looked at him changed in an instant.

Sure I can smell the alcohol in his breath. Sure I was taken aghast by his crude appearance – but more than that, a realization dawned on me – that despite all that, this German national who just lost his wife, needed to be heard.

He told me about the hospital experience.

He shared the amount and the process it took at the funeral.

And now he lives alone, accompanied by the helpers who help look after the property bought with his deceased wife.

“You know the other night, I heard my wife call my name… do you believe that? He asked me.

I simply nodded as I recalled the paper on dreams that was discussed in my Counseling class and how dreams can also be one of the means by which God could comfort people who are grieving.

“Really, I heard my wife call my name… and I recognized her voice. Been married to her for 25 years… he kept on speaking.

I simply listened and tried to understand what he was saying.  And with the understanding, I sense a growing feeling of compassion toward him.

We talked for several more minutes and then he turned and said “thanks, thanks for listening” and walked away to take care of the small fire that he was about to start nearby.

I looked at that scenery that I wanted to take a picture of.  It was gone.  The lighting was already too dark for me.  I missed the opportunity for a great picture.

But I was thankful to be able to stand and affirm an old man’s grieving heart over the loss of his wife of 25 years.

You will see your wife again, Manfred.

She is now safe in the arms of our Loving Father in Heaven.

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Frustrations with my Internet Service Provider…

Posted on June 1, 2010 by oftherock

One of the things that needed to be taken care of in anticipation for our move is the transfer of necessary utilities like the broadband services.

Couple of weeks prior to our move, I went to Globe Business Center in Festival Mall, Alabang and made the request for the transfer of my internet subscription.  I requested for a transfer on May 23rd.

Day before May 23rd, I called Globe and before I was able to make that call, I got an sms from Alvin of Globe Business Center informing me that due to the system error they were not able to monitor the transfer.

I called up the Customer Service 211 and made the request for June 1.

1. I gave them the address.

2. I gave them the landmark.

3. I told them emphatically that they do not need to make a lot of “ocular inspection” because the unit has a GLOBE INNOVE BROADBAND line that still need to be transferred as well.  All the necessary connections are still there.

I just made my 3rd call to Globe and I am still being given a standard answer. ‘All the technicians are still doing the ocular to determine if we have the facility to give you internet…”

I could just shake my head in disbelief.

1. So I told them again that there is already an existing GLOBE INNOVE BROADBAND box outside the unit.

2. I made the request for June 1 and yet no one came… not a hint. Not even an sms.

3. The generic response is just making my head pound with frustration.

AND ON TOP OF THIS – I am being charged additional P2,100 to transfer my “line” to an already existing cables maintained by GLOBE.

Minutes prior to this 3rd call, I looked the website of globe and there it was

http://site.globe.com.ph/internet_and_landline/wifi_your_home?sid=TAS3A8uxpRcAAEbwmsgAAABEe

1. It is cheaper to have my account cancelled and apply for a new one.  The installation is only P500 and I would be given a free wifi router!!

But when I apply for a transfer, I am being charged P2,100 and no promises of a router and no guarantee when they will come.

I pointed this out to the service representative and asked why am I being punished for transferring?  Why is Globe so friendly to new subscribers and yet they are un-friendly toward loyal customers. I had been a Globe Internet subscriber for more than 2 years now…

I just do not understand all these things.

I was all praises for GLOBE BROADBAND when I was in Sta Rosa. But here in QC – it is another story.

Sure some may say about the density of the population – but I had high hopes since it was GLOBE. But now – I may need to wait for any one of their technician guys “to check if the area is serviceable…” and they will see that there is already a GLOBE INNOVE internet box right on the garage walls… and yes they will charge me P2,100 for seeing something that is already there.

Maybe I should just apply for a new line.

Or better yet get a BETTER ISP company to meet my needs.

There are so many things I do not understand.

But this one is the most frustrating right now.

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Moving house is not just about moving your material things….

Posted on May 29, 2010 by oftherock

I looked around the room and saw several boxes in varying degrees of getting packed.  Papers, printouts of lecture notes, meetings and the like were on the floor as we have started sorting out our things for our move to Quezon City.

We have been residents of Sta Rosa for 8 years now – so as anyone could imagine, moving to another place is not only about moving your physical belongings but moving all those things, events and memories associated with the place and people and friends who will be left behind.

While we felt that it was time to move closer to the office so that the long drive to the office would no longer be necessary, there are some considerations that occupied our thinking process for quite awhile.

Moving means going outside your comfort zone. And as one grows older… the comfort zone is well… comfortable indeed.

Last January, I told my wife about the ongoing construction and the added dilemma in driving to Quezon City.  We thought if there was a great time to move from Laguna, this would be the time as the construction of SLEX Skyway would take until the better part of 2011.  It would normally take 3 hours now to get to QC and with the high temperatures during the daytime, the car was also threatening to overheat many times along the jam-packed SLEX on weekdays.

We prayed hard where the Lord would take us considering the high cost of rental these days.  And as always, He did.

We are moving to Quezon City and we know the owners very, very well.  They had repainted the house and all we need to do is to haul our things over there.  We thank God for their consideration and for even asking us to consider their property.  We did not know that they were moving out as well.  The timing could not have been more perfect.

So now as I look at the boxes and sift through all my belongings… it feels as if I am sifting through my life history.

- A letter from my mother in-law written several weeks after the wedding.

- My letter to my wife on our first month as a couple.

- Records of hospitalizations and bills paid – a testimony of God’s loving provision.

- Pictures, small souvenirs and other things bought in the process of building a home.

All these things are making me  acutely aware of the things we will miss when we move out here.

First, the quietness of the place.  There are no tricycles allowed in the village.  Where we are moving, the tricycles dominate the streets.

We will miss the convenience of driving to Tagaytay for coffee and recreation.

The ease of walking Beans and Peanut in the huge soccer field.

Coffee with neighbors and friends.

But there is one more thing that I will terribly miss when we move out. And it is only when we started packing did I realize that I had forgotten to do something…. and that is to grieve.

Last May 11, after delaying the execution of this painful decision for 2 months, we finally had our beloved dog Toepy put to sleep.  I had been in communication with the vet since March, but could not let go of our baby Toepy.

She had suffered a lot of health issues including hematomas on both ears. It had been difficult for her – but I did not realize how much difficult it would be for me.

I could still feel her seated comfortably on my lap as I stroked her nape. I gently carried her to the table where Dr Hernandez injected her with the medicine to put her to sleep.  Twice, to put her into deeper sleep.  She was like a baby slowly getting very sleepy and I held her and her head was on my hand as I whispered to her what had been our “baby-talk ” to her.  ”Toepy-let, klupingpang, tunchanlan sam sung, chunlan…!”  Long story about that line, but she would always relax when I say those words to her using my baby-talk tone… she would always slowly close her eyes as if really luxuriating on the vocal pampering done on her.

She was asleep but I kept stroking her.  I guess I was still trying to hold on to her….and as I did, I whispered “thank you Toepy… thank you Toepy…”

Dr Hernandez took another syringe and said “You might want to go out for this…”

I bravely said “No i will stay here…what is that?”

“This, Dr Hernandez replied, I will inject directly to her heart to make it stop…”

I hesitated for a moment… but I didn’t want to lose it right in front of him and I stepped out.  Manny Villar was on TV giving his speech congratulating Noynoy Aquino.  I literally forced my head to look at the TV so that I will be distracted from what was happening inside the clinic.

Fighting tears.

Fighting that miserable feeling of losing a dog that had been so faithful.

You see with Toepy, everyday is a good “carry-me and put me-in your lap day.  Everyday is a ‘we don’t have to do anything day but just let me be by your side day…”

With our black lab, Beans, everyday is a good day to play.  He would always stand on the gate with his front paws resting on the bars with his bone or toy in his mouth, and those eyes that seem to say “Can my person come out and play?”

With Peanut, everyday is a good day to go out and see what the world is like outside….

After a few moments, Dr Hernandez called me in.  There she was still lying on the table.  I gently placed my right hand on her chest. The heart was no longer beating.

Breathless… my baby Toepy-let is gone.

I wrapped her in her towel and closed her partially opened eyes…and said my goodbyes.

My emotions were welling up inside me as I walked out of the clinic.  Thanked the doctor and tried to compose myself. Outside was a korean lady with a beautifuk Siberian Husky waiting for their turn.  They looked at me as I grabbed Toepy’s chain from the bench where we were seated minutes ago and drove away.

I got home and Wifey asked me “how are you Lovey?” and I was swept away by the flooding of emotions that just bursts out. Like a dam, my heart exploded and we cried and cried….

But there was no time to grieve.  We had to drive to Cavite for the youth camp.  No one uttered a word during our drive to the youth camp.  I was too shaken.

The feeling was terrible.  Preparing the youth camp when hours earlier, I just put my baby dog to sleep.

And at the youth camp, the movie that was shown was ‘Hachi” – a story of a faithful Akita who kept waiting for his master to arrive at the train station for 10 years. Can you imagine feeling dead and crying inside while maintaining your composure after the movie and with more than 100 campers and 40 staff, particularly that night?

And two youth camps later, as I pack and sort out my things… I remember that I still have some grieving left to do.

We are saying goodbye to this place, but also in one essence, I am saying goodbye to Toepy.  She was a year old when we transferred here. She was beautiful and even the kids (now in th eir teens) knew her name.  She just wanted to be close to us.  She wanted to be carried.  Her body would go limp when I carry her and she would tilt her head back as I would repeat again and again my baby -talk  for her.

A few days later, I got an email from a prayer online group with an article “Do our pets go to heaven when they die?”  Very interesting read.  Very comforting read – but I do not know. It is plausible.  Very comforting, but theologically, something that would still be proven.

So you see, moving is not just about packing things and hauling them somewhere. It is about sorting out your life, indexing memories and gently putting them for safe-keeping, either in boxes, different containers, or in the deep recesses of you mind, where they can be lovingly played out as memories, of  years gone by.

Goodbye Toepy.  We carry your memories with us wherever we go.

Thank you Laguna Bel-Air for giving us a warm, nice comfortable place we called home for the past eight years.

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Kapit sa Patalim… another domestic helper took off for Riyadh.

Posted on May 29, 2010 by oftherock

We tried to dissuade her and reason out with her.  Going overseas to work as a domestic helper in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia is tantamount to putting her well-being at risk.

Yet she left last Wednesday.  33-years old and with 3 children and a husband whose overseas employment did not really give them anything much to hope for, Adet left for Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

She was with us several weeks ago prior to her departure. And upon learning of her scheduled flight, we literally begged her not to leave.  My wife and I even went through the list of people who could employ her.  Reasoned out to her that her 3-year old youngest child would terribly miss her.  But her heart was already made up.  While she was aware of the physical and emotional challenges, she set her eyes on the P10,000 monthly salary she would receive from her employer.

I wanted to tell her that she is going to Saudi on a P10K monthly salary promise.  Many time and too often, things dramatically change when the helper gets to her destination.  The employer takes the passport and many times, these helpers do not know their exact address as they are most often than not, prohibited from going out.

And those who can go out to even simply put away the trash are also in different kinds of danger.  In a conversation with a Filipina who worked in Kuwait, she attested to the many incidents where the Filipina domestic helper was  taken away by a gang of young Kuwaitis as she was throwing the trash outside, only to be gang raped out in the desert.

We feared for Adet. We feared for her safety. We feared for her life. And we feared for how her children will grow up in their formative years without their mothers.  P10K monthly salary could never replace the un-counted cost of leaving the family behind to work overseas.

I sensed a growing frustration about this whole thing.  The overseas filipino workers and their families are going through a whole lot of things that we need to be mindful of.  Now a whole generation of Filipino teens and children know what it is like to grow up with a single mom or single dad. Not necessarily because of death or separation, but because of overseas work.

And many times, while the financial trade-off would seem better at the start but when you count the many moments missed by either parent as their children are growing up, the anxiety in the hearts of their teens and children without the mentoring presence of their parents, unwanted pregnancies, broken- marriages due to infidelity on the either side… you begin to wonder how can we make these work for our good?

How do we parent a generation who is psychologically orphaned and yet at the same time, lavished with many gadgets and toys simply because their parents could better afford them now?

How do we safeguard the filipinos working in different parts of the globe and assure their families of their well-being?

What do we do so that mothers like Adet would not longer have to leave the country just to feed her family?

They do what has been called “kapit sa patalim” ( someone who is holding on to the blade part of the sword for dear life…)

She took off last Wednesday at 2pm onboard Saudia Airlines.  She has all our important numbers and email written and tucked somewhere in her luggage.  I pray to God that she would not need to give us or anyone an S.O.S call.

Our prayers go to our Filipino workers overseas.  The government calls you “Bagong Bayani”… aptly so because the government is too lazy and to become the hero for its citizenry.

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Deeper in Grace…. thank you SEP LUZON Staff!

Posted on May 17, 2010 by oftherock

We just wrapped up the youth camp for Luzon yesterday. 106 campers and 40 staff gathered in Villa Julia from May 12 – 16 for the Summer Enrichment Program of Grace Communion International.

“Deeper in Grace” was the theme. During our dinner and staff-debriefing in Tagaytay last night, we had the chance (despite the noise in the restaurant where we ate) to ask some of our younger staff to share their lessons learned and insights gained during the camp.  What they shared were really amazing.  Deeper in Grace was not just a theme, but a journey all of us went through in varying degrees and form while at camp.

I cannot recall a more inspiring post-SEP sharing in recent years and SEP 2010 seems to be on its way to be one of the best camps we ever had in terms of campers, variety of staff, schedule and other things.

This is my 13th year as Camp Director for the youth camps here in Luzon.  I have stopped counting the camps I had helped organized once the number hit 40 a couple of years back. What a rich blessing it is for me to be able to see a generation of counselors get trained and released to mentor the younger brothers and sisters.

And let me tell you a little ritual I do before the campers arrive.

1. I say a little prayer and surrender all the personal prep I had done and others that were left un-finished.

2. I say a little prayer for the staff for them to be able to step up to the challenges they will face.  The work is laborious and very tiresome and it is not for the faint-hearted.

3. And lastly, I say a little prayer of gratitude to the one who mentored me while I was in college.  Dr. Kermit Nelson, your legacy is very safe with me. I find myself assessing camp situations and would sometimes catch my thought asking “What-would-Dr.Nelson-do-in-this-situation?”

But being involved in youth camps for 23 years ( whooaa… more than half of my life.  Wooot! Thank you God!) does not mean I know it like the palms of my hands.

I need to learn more. I need to understand more because the changes in the youth culture and subtext are going through at a rapid pace.  The society is changing along with the values and perceptions. The things my generation took for granted are now the same things being challenged by the young people.

But one thing remains constant throughout all these 23 years of youth ministry.  And that is the love of God for the young people. When I look at the campers especially on the last day of camp, and I feel a sense of overwhelming love and pride for them, I tell myself that it is nothing but a glimpse…. nothing but a glimpse of God’s awesome love for each and everyone of them.

Thank you for all the staff who labored so hard to give the best camp for the young people.

Thank you to all our devotional speakers:  Ptr Len, Ptr Audie, Ptr Aron and our dear friend Jeremy.

Thank you for the F&B staff for raising the standard when it comes to food and beverage offered at camp.  Camp food need not be bland and tasteless!  You guys rocked!

Thank you for the work done before camp and people like Orly Osillos and Edrei Fajardo. Thank you for the spiritual gift of service that God has given you both.  Quiet, un-demanding but you guys are awesome and dependable team members.

Thank you counselors!  For stepping up the plate despite the feelings of inadequacies we all go through. Thank you for loving and caring and nurturing our younger brothers and sisters in the faith.  You guys will always be their counselor forever.  Years from now, when they recall their camp experiences, they will always remember you.  Hahaha I still remember my counselor back in 1984 (yes, the dinosaur age!) and I have quoted him verbatim during the staff meeting.  To show you that all of us when we work with the youth ministry, we do not just create activities, cheers and nice slogans and funny presentations.

WE ARE MEMORY MAKERS….

Dig that? That’s what we are. So what memories are you creating now?

The words spoken, kind acts done, Gospel shared, cheers chanted…. they all form the memories our campers would put in their brain folder called SEP2010.  The little things we do, really can echo throughout their lifetime.

Thank you Lord for the 23rd year in youth ministry.

Thank you for the 13th year as camp director.

I once asked you how long will I do this? It can get tiring and discouraging sometimes when resources are lacking… but again and again, you allow me to experience your grace differently each year and your grace is different for all the other camps this year in our denomination.

Thank you Lord for the privilege of mentoring some of the youth leaders. Now there is a pressing need to strap our boots and get ready to mentor a new generation of counselors and youth workers so that many more young people will experience the reality of your love and grace.

Just like how you have counted the decades for my mentor Dr. Nelson, then do that as well in my life.  He mentored me when he was in his 60s and I was in my early twenties….thank you for the person you sent to mentor Dr Nelson when he was young person… I feel so blessed being part of the invisible chain of men and women mentored for Your use in youth ministry.

My life belongs to YOU.  Use me, fill me, send me, stretch me, bend me until every ounce of life and blood is exhausted for YOUR name and glory.

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Thank you to our mothers…!

Posted on May 8, 2010 by oftherock

Tomorrow is Mother’s Day.

It is a day where it is virtually impossible for anyone to ignore.  We all were given birth because of our mothers – so whether this relationship with your Mom is fulfilling or almost non-existent, Mother’s day will surely make you reminisce and reflect on it.

Mother’s Day also make us feel very grateful for all the things our mother endured.  Today’s post are some of the things I would like to mention here about why I would always be thankful for my Mom.

1. Thank you for working so hard to send us to school.  I still could not believe it but through your meager public school teacher’s salary, you solely put us through school.

2. Thank you for writing my speeches during my elementary school days.

3. Thank you for believing in what I can do.

4. During my freshman year in highschool , in one of the forms sent by the school, you described me as “tender-hearted”.  I did not understand it then.. but I marveled now at how you were able to read me spot-on.

5. Thank you for making education really important. It became important to us as well.

6. Thank you for waking up at 4am to prepare our “baon” for school… and there were times when we ran out of money for stove fuel, that you would use wood to cook our meals.

7. Thank you that you dreamed bigger dreams for us.

8. Thank you for writing to me consistently while I was away in college for four years.  I could not read everything because you used very thin papers that made the ink bled on the other side… I knew it was cathartic for you to write me all the things that were happening to us at that time.

9. Thank you for sewing the blanket I used during my freshman year in Ambassador College.

10. Thank you for writing me during the end of my freshman year where you really encouraged me to be honest with my feelings for this special girl…and I later married her!

11. Thank you for the wedding gift.  I knew that you took it from your retirement money… and it meant a lot to me when you handed it to me as I was leaving our house.  You placed the envelope in my hand and said “sana makatulong sa kasal…” I cried as I drove away.

12. Thank you for loving my wife. For respecting her and for always asking about her when I visit you.

13. Thank you for taking us to church as we were growing up. For taking us to Baguio for the Festivals even if we had so many luggages to carry and 4 children to tag along during the long bus commute to Baguio.

14. Thank you for wanting to be at my graduation at Ambassador College.  It did not materialize because of the passing away of your friend who was also like a second mom to me.  But it was you I fondly thought of as I was marching proudly through the sea of graduation gowns and caps amidst the festive music and cheers.

15. Thank you for the stories you told us about your childhood.  My brother and I are piecing them together and will preserve them and pass them to the next generation.

16. Thank you for being strong and being so devoted during the turbulent months of 2001 when our family underwent severe challenge.

17. And again for your strength when our family relationship underwent deeper trials in December 2008 – January 2009.

18. Thank you Mom for giving birth to me… and enduring the ceasarian done on you so that I could live despite being a preemy baby.

19. Thank you Mom for your faith.  For teaching us how to pray.  For being strict with us growing up.

20 For all the stress you went through in providing for  us… you were not perfect, but you did all what you could with what you have.

Thank you Mom.

I will forever be grateful.

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QHS Batch 83 – IV Abad Santos:Thank you for the awesome friendship!

Posted on May 8, 2010 by oftherock

25 years after our highschool graduation, it was awesome to finally see some of my best set of friends in highschool.  We drifted apart after graduation and since cellphones, internet, FB and other social networking sites were not in existence yet during those times, we struggled to maintain our communication.

But in 2007 during the 50th Founding anniversary of Quirino High School, some of them met and got re-connected and started calling out friends and searching for them online… until we had a yahoogroup started… and in 2008, we had our first ever Batch 83 Homecoming Reunion.

Forward to 2010… several meet ups later and other activities later, ( I mostly missed because they usually schedule them on friday nights) I found myself driving to Ayala TechnoHub for one of those meet-ups with my class section IV-Abad Santos.  A classmate from Canada just arrived and she wanted to see some of us before she leaves on Saturday ( she is probably flying across the Pacific now).  The usual conversation would always start on some trivia on highschool life. And for the life of me, I do not understand why my memory kicked on high gear as I drew the seat chart and told them where they sat during our senior year in highschool.  They were all astounded and no one dared question my photographic memory.

Then as the night progressed, so did our conversations.  About life, work, challenges, marriages and death of our loved ones.  I shared with them some of the insights I gained from my visit with 3 other classmates in San Diego, CA last September.  There were times when we would laugh at some recollection, but for the most part, we would be quiet at some deep insight or reflection shared by any one of us.

I looked at the 8 friends around me.  Here was a community of friends were there was no need for masks.  There was no need to play the “who is better now after all these years…” but basically, a set of friends who act more like brother and sisters.  We sympathize with the difficulties each one of us go through and try to encourage others to remain strong.  We are like a band of brothers… who are very much aware that time will come when we would not be able to meet as regularly as we can because of distance, time and age, and perhaps health difficulties.

It was a very loving community. I always feel elated after seeing them.  I am always encouraged after our sharing and the other night, we all agreed that it was one of the best discusssions we ever had as a small community.  It was almost 1am when we disbanded from Coffee Bean.  I drove home in silence. My mind was very tired from the trip in Dumaguete and the day activity in Bulacan… but seeing my highschool friends made me realize that I have friends I can count on outside my immediate context of work and family relationships.

I got home and we sent sms to each other thanking each other for their presence at the meet-up.  It was  blessing and thank you Abad Santos clasmates for being in my life.  It was very cathartic to talk about our past – and dream about what could in the future.

Oh, and one of my classmates encouraged me to write more often. “Lately, you have not been writing anything… but your blog is already bookmarked on my computer…”

Thanks for the encouragement.  There are times when I question why I even bother writing and maintaining this blog.  But even if it is just one person from my class who would read this regularly, and find even an iota of encouragement, then it is all worth it.

Thank you my classmates.  Thank you for enriching my life.  See you soon in more encouraging and fulfilling meet-ups in the coming months!

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Goodbye Tatay Jose…

Posted on April 26, 2010 by oftherock

Saying goodbye to a new day as we await the dawning of the next

I started reading chapters from the book of Psalms. I read Psalm 23 very slowly to make sure that the words would be heard by the person on the other end of the line. I was calling Tatay Jose upon his request. I had asked if I could talk with him but I was told that he was already unable to speak. Her daughter-in-law Brenda sent me sms because Tatay Jose indicated that he wanted to hear my voice.

I was slumped on the ground outside our house. Our two dogs, Toepy and Beans, sensing the significance of the event and maybe even my emotions associated with it – came next to me. Toepy even had her face resting on my lap, while Beans was sitting on my right side.

“The Lord is my shepherd… I shall not want…’
I finished Chapter 23 and started reading other chapters for him. Tatay Jose was not responding to me – and it felt like a one-man monologue on the phone. But he was listening. I could hear him coughing on the other line.

Then I read chapters in Isaiah. And then ended with Romans 8…. “nothing could separate us from God’s love…’ there are times when my voice would break…and I struggled to keep on. I was reading the Bible and giving my small commentary to someone who in less than 24 hours, would pass away.

I started praying. Thanking God for the life of Tatay Jose and as much as I could remember, recalled the events (mostly youth camps) where I had seen him in action. I thanked Tatay Jose for the many years of sacrificial service to our denomination. For their selfless generosity and love for the Church.

Tatay Jose was our senior pastor in Bahile, 2 hours away from Puerto Princesa. The last time I saw him was during the church anniversary of our church in Puerto Princesa. We then went to their house in Bahile where 70 people were waiting for us. Tatay Jose was the father figure of our churches in Bahile and Puerto. Her daughters are now married to our pastors there and his sons are in our pastoral teams.

I ended the prayer expressing my gratitude to Christ for allowing us to have our Tatay Jose… and as if on sync, the connection got disconnected.

That night I was told that it was really getting hard for him to breathe. His wife eventually told him of the reality of the situation and I was told that Tatay Jose started to cry. I have always wondered about the wisdom of telling or not telling someone about their true situation. I had seen on two occasions where the dying persons were not told that they had very limited time left.

Personally, I would prefer to to be told of that when it is my time. So I could make amends and finish any un-finished business or even give my proper goodbyes to family and friends who mattered a lot. Or even say my parting words of encouragement to those who will be left behind.

At 3am on thursday, I got the sms “He just passed…just a moment ago. Thank you for all the prayers”….

Thank you Tatay Jose for loving the Church. Thank you for serving the Lord with all of your life. Thank you for loving us. I am not your son – but you definitely made everybody feel like they are your children.

Thank you very much. We will see each other in the presence of our Lord.

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