Kapit sa Patalim… another domestic helper took off for Riyadh.

We tried to dissuade her and reason out with her.  Going overseas to work as a domestic helper in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia is tantamount to putting her well-being at risk.

Yet she left last Wednesday.  33-years old and with 3 children and a husband whose overseas employment did not really give them anything much to hope for, Adet left for Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.

She was with us several weeks ago prior to her departure. And upon learning of her scheduled flight, we literally begged her not to leave.  My wife and I even went through the list of people who could employ her.  Reasoned out to her that her 3-year old youngest child would terribly miss her.  But her heart was already made up.  While she was aware of the physical and emotional challenges, she set her eyes on the P10,000 monthly salary she would receive from her employer.

I wanted to tell her that she is going to Saudi on a P10K monthly salary promise.  Many time and too often, things dramatically change when the helper gets to her destination.  The employer takes the passport and many times, these helpers do not know their exact address as they are most often than not, prohibited from going out.

And those who can go out to even simply put away the trash are also in different kinds of danger.  In a conversation with a Filipina who worked in Kuwait, she attested to the many incidents where the Filipina domestic helper was  taken away by a gang of young Kuwaitis as she was throwing the trash outside, only to be gang raped out in the desert.

We feared for Adet. We feared for her safety. We feared for her life. And we feared for how her children will grow up in their formative years without their mothers.  P10K monthly salary could never replace the un-counted cost of leaving the family behind to work overseas.

I sensed a growing frustration about this whole thing.  The overseas filipino workers and their families are going through a whole lot of things that we need to be mindful of.  Now a whole generation of Filipino teens and children know what it is like to grow up with a single mom or single dad. Not necessarily because of death or separation, but because of overseas work.

And many times, while the financial trade-off would seem better at the start but when you count the many moments missed by either parent as their children are growing up, the anxiety in the hearts of their teens and children without the mentoring presence of their parents, unwanted pregnancies, broken- marriages due to infidelity on the either side… you begin to wonder how can we make these work for our good?

How do we parent a generation who is psychologically orphaned and yet at the same time, lavished with many gadgets and toys simply because their parents could better afford them now?

How do we safeguard the filipinos working in different parts of the globe and assure their families of their well-being?

What do we do so that mothers like Adet would not longer have to leave the country just to feed her family?

They do what has been called “kapit sa patalim” ( someone who is holding on to the blade part of the sword for dear life…)

She took off last Wednesday at 2pm onboard Saudia Airlines.  She has all our important numbers and email written and tucked somewhere in her luggage.  I pray to God that she would not need to give us or anyone an S.O.S call.

Our prayers go to our Filipino workers overseas.  The government calls you “Bagong Bayani”… aptly so because the government is too lazy and to become the hero for its citizenry.