Arrogant entitlement….

My wife shared with me a story that remained with me to this day.

Back in 1998, we drove for about 12 hours to reach a  seaside resort for the church retreat.  There were several churches involved in that retreat, so it meant the arrivals of the participants and facilitators would be staggered based on their times of departure.

We were not married yet at that time – but along with other singles we traveled to that venue way ahead of others so we could help prepare the place.

My wife recounted that at about 3am – they were woken up by the commotion inside their room.  Another group arrived (smaller group) from their drive from Manila.  It would be easy to imagine that the first few people who arrived would have been sleeping already at that time.

One of them- turned on the light switch when they entered the room, and when the ladies stirred in surprise (which is a natural reaction when someone turns on the light while you are asleep) and to get adjusted to the light, they heard this lady say with a loud voice, and several times,  “we just got here, it’s our right.. it’s our right to turn on the light…”

My wife at that time wondered, why did she have to say it is her right?  Why not just say – “sorry I really need to see where to put my things?”

I did not know what to call that until I came across this term as I was reading one of the books I got on Booksale for personal growth.  Stephen Arterburn and John Shore wrote a book called Midlife Manual For Men : Finding Significance in the Second Half.

Arrogant entitlement.

One of the things that caught my attention was the description they referred to about certain behaviors that threaten to sabotage any relationships.  Such behaviors would oftentimes be linked to abuse of authority that men may actually have or perceived to possess by virtue of what they may have accomplished in their lives.

Arrogant entitlement.  It is my right… it is all about my right…

I had been thinking a lot about these things lately as I ponder about the seemingly un-controlled things in the lives of so many Filipinos.

Arrogant entitlement – that is the term that could explain the phenomena around us.  Because of the power that we have (money, fame, fortune, looks, intelligence, connection, position etc) we also acquire a sense of entitlement.  And this entitlement is expressed in so many ways.  This sense of entitlement grows bigger as we become more powerful or more influential.

Arrogant entitlement’s d’etre is “because we can…”

Arrogant entitlement could explain why some of the despicable things are going in our society. Let me try to explain some more:

When our politicians and leaders steal money from the nation’s coffers and do with a sense of impunity – that is because they feel they are entitled to the nation’s money.

It is arrogant entitlement when our national leaders would spend P1M for a lavish dinner in New York while in the Philippines – those who are going through involuntary hunger rose to 24%.

Arrogant entitlement is seen when politicians still refuse to let the younger leaders assume the positions. Instead they hang on to their seats and guard their positions despite the obvious need for them to stop aspiring for political positions.

Arrogant entitlement is seen when presidential aspirants never learned the lessons from their previous mistakes and still considers that the presidency was taken away from him.

Arrogant entitlement is seen when young, good-looking actors and actresses get into troubles and expect the nation to be kind to them just because they are seen on the TV screens.

Arrogant entitlement was manifested when a promising doctor videotaped all his sexual conquests without the consent of the partner in that specific tryst.

I saw this arrogant entitlement when a police at the airport yelled at the boy working the carts at the arrival area and when the boy looked at him he screamed at him and said “O, titingin tingin ka pa!” (You even dare look at me!”)

Arrogant entitlement takes place when the new teachers in Sibalom do not receive their salaries because some bureacracy said they do not get it until after about 6 – 12 months.  The budget has been approved – and yet the salary is not being given them and the explanations they receive from the Manila office is really flimsy.

It is arrogant entitlement when a father hits a son or a daughter.  When the son or a daughter could not explain their situation and are rather answered with a punch or a slap.  These types of fathers  think that because they give financial support, that they are entitled to do whatever they want.

This arrogance gets more sickening when a father molests a daughter, a young relative and remains un-repentant of his actions.

It goes on and on…

It is arrogant entitlement when a teacher yells at a student and causes the student to be embarrassed in the presence of schoolmates.

It is arrogant entitlement when famous men in politics, business, sports or what have you – get involve in extra-marital affairs.  Their achievements do not give them the right to be involved in affairs – but deep inside these men feel they have earned the right for that extra-marital affair.

It is arrogant entitlement even in church, when members withhold their finances so that they could get the attention of the leadership.

This is not mine but I will quote this here.  It is arrogant entitlement when “pastors are treated as hirelings instead of men called by God to serve and care for the church.”

It is also arrogant entitlement when church leaders do not give way so that the younger leaders would have a place at the leadership positions.

It is arrogant entitlement when a pastor or a church leader acts as if he is the sole repository of God’s gifts and revelations.  And questions authenticity of what God may have revealed to people below his position.

It is arrogant entitlement when employers do not pay their employees on time and make the workplace unbearable for them.

It is arrogant entitlement when children misbehave in public so they can get what they want from their parents.

It is when we are so dismissive or impatient with our children or our staff because we feel we have the right to act that way.

It is arrogant entitlement when spend our resources now and do not think of the next generation.

It is arrogant entitlement when we sell our inheritance (be it land or other form of property) so that we could benefit from the money now, instead of thinking of what to pass to the next generation.

It can even be arrogant entitlement when we question what God is doing in our lives and wonder if He knows how to make our lives abundant.

We all feel a sense of entitlement – but left un-corrected, it creates havoc in our community, family, society and yes, even to our destiny.

Lord God, allow us to humbly examine ourselves in the light of your example.  Give us the opposite of arrogant enlightenment – which is, humble willingness, to be what you want us to be, to receive, to experience and to accomplish at any given time, place and situation in our lives.

Teach us to be humble.

Teach us to be considerate.

Teach us to be loving and respectful.  Merciful and not intrusive.

Teach us to be grateful and dependent rather than un-thankful and independent.

Whatever power we have in our lives brought by the money, fame, popularity, expertise in sports, education, connection… all the powers that come with all of these – are really not ours to keep.  All powers come from You alone.  The areas in our lives are not our fiefdom to rule as we please.

Please do not allow us to forget again and again, that when we take advantage of whatever power we have – it means that we have assumed that such power is ours to begin with. But in reality, it only means that we are usurping, blocking, misleading, misappropriating Him from whom all power is derived.

Forgive our entitlement.

Forgive our arrogance.

Teach us to emulate Jesus

⁶Who, being in very nature^[a] God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
⁷but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature^[b] of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
⁸And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross! – Philippians 2 : 6 – 8

In His precious name,

AMEN