A recent trip to the US for a working vacation emphasized more than ever the reality of the title of this blog.
Life is really made more meaningful by relationships. And relationships are not be measured by the roles we play or the position we occupy or the perceived importance we place in our lives in relation to the people around us. But life is made much more meaningful by the interaction and experience forged by the relationship based in friendship, love and respect.
The most joy, the most high, the most memorable memories are always in the context of relationships.
However, the most pain, the most tears, the most sorrows and anxieties and discouragements are also experienced in the context of relationships (imagined or real.)
There are times when life is temporarily seasoned with relationships that bless and nurture your heart and soul. There are also times when you go through valleys and valleys of pain in your relationships.
But for the most part, what life offers us is a combination of the blessing and pain in our relationships.
My mind is being flooded right now with warm memories of friends, church worship services, conversations over dinner, conversations during the 3400 miles we drove. Pictures of the long drive from San Diego where a meaningful conversation between a highschool friend I had not seen for 26 years. Our standing outside a buffet place and a friend was pouring out his heart over some personal difficulties. The laughters inside the van as we recalled the highschool memories. The evening jogs with another couple along San Clemente beach with the beautiful homes and stunning beach as our background. The long conversation in the farm in Texas as we grilled a very savory, lean beef patties. The beautiful view of Simi Valley as my wife and I shared this beautiful dinner with the family of my college freshman roommate. The tearful prayers in San Bernardino as we shared our passion with a group of church leaders from San Jose. Prayers over dinner and a friend tearing up as he thanked the Lord for the opportunity to share his life with us. Memories of children peeking in our rooms to see if we were already awake so they could play with us. Friends who gathered so that we could get caught up with what has been happening. The loaded theological questions I was asked by a college roommate as we drove back to Dallas. The ponderings of the future with a college bestfriend as we strolled and later on laid our backs on the sands of San Clemente beach…
I could go on and on. The quiet dinners, the loud laughters with relatives, the shopping sprees, the small group gatherings…. life is truly made more meaningful. And in the light of the calamities in the Philippines – I take my respite from the sad news by going through the pictures of the recent trip.
I would not have it any other way. Relationships could be messy – but it could be very beautiful. I can also recall some people who do not know how to handle relationships because they are measured through the roles they play. It is as if their relationships are only based upon the task at hand. These types of relationships while it may be considered pragmatic are many times, superficial and oftentimes could be toxic. The health of these relationships are many times measured through the success of the task at hand. The definition of these relationships are many times defined by the success and failure of the tasks at hand.
If you want to be in a relationship with anyone – make sure you allow the people in your life to breathe freely without fear of being judged.
Learn to destroy the relationship killers in your life. Say sorry when you are at fault – and do it immediately. Relationships are not meant to be a program where people are assessed, diagnosed and through your expertise, their life would be changed. If we look at people with the desire to change them – you will realize that the person needs to be changed is not them, BUT YOU.
Life is good. Life is to be treasured. Get rid of toxic relationships in your life. Build on the good ones. Affirm the people around you and let the healing nature of an affirming relationship bless your soul through and through.
