Driving home late one night, I turned on the radio and listened to DZMM. In recent weeks, I found myself listening to a radio talk show more than the more music-focused FM stations.
The talk show that night hosted by Dr. Love (?) entertained a call from an 81-year old woman. I was listened fascinatedly as she shared her deepest heart’s regrets. She seemed to have called the station several times as she was already known by the radio host. Did I detect a sense of frustation in the voice of the radio host?
Nanay Soledad shared with the host her ordeal. She recently just recovered from an illness where she even had to be taken to the ICU. And while at the ICU – she said she kept on hearing the voice of the baby she had aborted many decades ago.
She was a lot younger then and was already taking care of their 6 children. Her husband did not have any work then – and she suddenly found herself pregnant with the 7th child. One of her friends in Tondo suggested an anonymous house where she could have the baby aborted. Against her better judgment, she went there with her friend and had the gruesome procedure done.
Now several decades later, she is still being haunted by what she had done. She said she wants to meet her Creator freed from the guilt and fear of what might become of her.
The radio host patiently told her to go to her priest for her confession… she said she did it many times already and that she was already declared forgiven by one of the priests. Yet she said she still does not have any peace.
The radio host told her to pray a specific prayer several times and almost begrudgingly told her that she is really forgiven and she should move on.
I found myself praying for Nanay Soledad. She had carried this guilt for far too long. Prayers to certain personalities did not help – even the number of confessions she had made did not silence the voices she imaginedly heard from the depth of her womb.
Lord God, please give her your forgiveness and lasting peace. Old as she is now, she had carried this burden and had caused her so much shame and pain. When her time comes to meet you, she wants to meet you as someone who is already clean. So Father, give her a cleansing of her heart. Let her know that your forgiveness is more real than the ache that had accompanied her through the decades.
Lord God, let her experience your grace. She is 81 years old – let her heart be at peace now so that she could spend the very limited time left in her life, as someone who has been forgiven by the loving Father.
I pray for her that she will get to know you – and so she will experience the wonderful depths of your love.
